My kind of dream of a clean LQ

I hope I don't get you male species emotional if you can somehow relate to my imagination.

***

"No goodnight hug and kiss again tonight, Honey?" 

That is me baby talking my wife. 

"Baby, please talk to me... Huhu. :("

And that's how I get desperate for her attention. I just couldn't bear the fact that aside from she's mad at me for the reason we've been dealing for God knows how many times in our life together since boyfriend-girlfriend era, I can't sleep with her back on my face. I just want to hug and kiss her goodnight, that's it. And settle my sin the next day. I'm sure she would forgive me at a random time I can guess.

I tried to hug her from behind until she surrenders. 

Ooopps. Wrong move.

***

It's not that I cheated on her or had a one night stand with a prostitute I met in a bar. I don't even go partying like that and my eyes are intended only for my lovely wife. Of all the reasons of our fight, this very reason of her silent treatment tonight is probably the easiest to deal with, the fastest for her to forgive but not entirely forget and the one that I cannot stop from happening. It's not even shameful to admit. I just well, according to her, replied to her sms 6 times only in my 1 hour lunch break, that would vary on a 6-10-minute gaps before she had her eyes on my very message. Fuck network. Fuck my ringtone. I mean, fuck who invented silent mode. And with that, fuck my ears and sense of vibration. Fuck my fingers for their pace. I guess I'm such a bad ass slow responder. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

With these she would rant: "Still busy on your lunch time eh? Well then go and get yourself busy as a demon in hell with Satan!!!" 

Of course, I exaggerated it because as calm as she may sound in her sentiments, those were the words I hear through my ears. Or I'm just a guilty, shitty husband. 

When she's not in her witchy woman self, she would just meow like a kitten with these words: "Yeah right. You just don't miss me that much. I KNOW. Go to work. Just message me if you want." Message sent attached with all the guilt you can hold, of all the crimes committed in the world. SWALLOOOWWW EEETTT!!! 

Damn. Like I miss you every number in the clock plus the fingers of all the living things could tell. Truth. 

***

The weather is cuddly tonight. In our silence, I am thankful this is not so serious, like the end of my existence in her life. This I consider as our way of spicing up our relationship a bit, a sort of undergoing getting to know you stage once again because I had to make myself good in her eyes for the most part, secretly promising her I will be a better partner. I can't wait for her to face me, to see her flash a smile of mischief that means I have the attitude of a toddler and she'll be so motherly for holding my face. Pinching my nose and tickling my ribs as my penalties for acting such behavior. Then she would kiss and hug me, and tell me she loves me a million hundred times. And then I can sleep with a happy heart. If she's game, we would end the night without our clothes on. *Wink

I would never forgive myself if I hear her silent sobs because that would mean a dangerous love quarrel. Thank heavens it's not something like that tonight.

***

I hugged her again and she didn't move. I kissed and smelled her newly-shampooed, damp hair. God, she smells sooo good. 

"I love you... Please forgive me Babe..."

She switched position, now facing the ceiling. I know any moment now we would be giggling again and be sweet love birds like we just got married this morning. She has not removed my arms in her tummy and I figure out she'll be in her 'hear my lecture you jerk, I love you' speech. And that would make me smile so wide. I so love that part.

For the serious parts of our duel, I'm still confident our relationship would not end to throwing marriage certificates in the trash bin of annulment. Because for all I know, we never ever insulted each other during these hard times. We never shouted words like 'bitch!', 'asshole!' and every goddamn name-calling and we never raised our voices. She didn't have to break a plate or vase or slam the door while my fingers are on the edges of it or shave my mustache up to my skin flesh or kick my balls to her anger. Neither I cheated nor even flirted or get myself a fling with a slutty, headache-source someone and I believe she did the same because we respect each other. She never threaten me of packing her bags or walking away making me an old bachelor for the rest of my life or frighten me by sending me to home for the aged after our future kids have their own lives or the worst of all, leave me with my no-one-knows-but-me-and-God death. Nothing like those kinds of UFC fights or wrestling. Those kinds that would scare me out of my wits, run for my life and make me go back to my mom's cradle. If one of these ever happened to me, I would not even oppose if someone would lock me up in a mental hospital. Just send me there or kill me now or I'll commit suicide or both. Double kill for the win. I'll be like the poor guy in The Man Who Can't Be Moved but my version will be, I'm the DEAD man who can't be moved. Argh!

Yet I'm talking about serious stuff here as silent treatments verbally, via sms, during dinner, dvds and bed time. I guess that's good enough to be peaceful with my marriage. I'm glad she's like that. I'm glad she loves me as much as I can accept, appreciate and absorb. I love her too. ♥

Instead, wait? What are the serious fights we had? She would be angry at little things and I would just laugh it all off behind her back because she's so cute. Have I mentioned she's a jealous chic? Fellow men, I love that she's not a married woman who would pull a mistress' hair in public restaurants or smash my phone when an unknown sexy Eve sent me a message or would go to the extent of enrolling herself into a shooting or martial art class come a hot mama claiming I am the father of her first born. I'm pretty sure she'll just stare at a girl who would try to be hot in front of me and maybe kill her in her brain. The uppercuts and punches she would jokingly throw at me during boxing match tv marathons would sometimes send me into wondering if she'll ever use it given the opportunity, crime and face. Yeah.

I can't predict what will she be like if ever we encounter such a terror scene. But I assure all the women that she'll be harmless, or so I thought. Perhaps I still don't know my wife very well. Maybe she'll dictate all of the Republic Acts of infidelity in my face or surprise me with handcuffs or borrowed epic lines from movies or books with a splash of water or wine or any liquid she can get hold off enough to add to my horror or out of the blue force me and my suspected lover to lay down and have our heads cut off with her chainsaw she would reveal ultimately in her small hand bag. Or maybe she will just get jealous after all. And on with the silent treatment again for a day. 

***

The truth is, if something similar happened to us when we're on our usual romantic date, she will just kill stare that flirt then proceed with her cool but mean comments afterwards she will disclose to no other than me.

"What is she looking at? Didn't she know her lipstick complements the tablecloth? Can't she focused on her semi-handsome, semi-awful date? Pffft.Stare again and you will regret you were born."

"You would say that?" I panicked.

"YEAH." 

Gulped.

I imagine her confrontation dialogue like: "What? Are you provoking me into a cat fight? Come on, I was a trained assasin since I got out of my mother's womb you dumbass!!!"

Of course, I exaggerated once again. 

"Excuse me, would you mind not eyeing on my man 'cause you got yours awkward already. It isn't appropriate, just so you know."

With all her grace and composure, she will caught the lady off guard, drown to her seat, speechless. That's my girl. Dangerously sweet. I'm hands off!

Back to the serious thingy. When was the last time and for what reason she hated and cursed me secretly? We would fight over Facebook, ignored sweet messages, forgotten special dates, overtimes at work, hang outs with friends, late home curfews, cancelled quality times... Have I given a thought that we don't fight over sexual urges? Money matters? In-laws? Exes? Privacies? Newly-discovered flaws? Morning looks? Hail all the saints, I'm the luckiest guy ever married.

With the above list of 'for me this is a serious fight' issues, never in my life I would not be enthusiastic about going home, to my wife. Not to that degree. In most of my shortcomings, the greatest fear of it comes from when she settles herself in the couch for a goodnight's sleep instead of wrapping herself to me. Apart from that, I will still be awaken by her heaven-sent cooking skills, the way she made the scrambled eggs I so much adore, by the coffee she mixed for our breakfast has always gone its way to my stomach's morning emptiness and my lunch box filled with food and love. She would not text me a word of her sweet nothings but still, she would remind me to not skip my meals and at 6 pm, she will beep me to let me know she's on her way home. And when I got home, I will be welcomed by our freshly-made dinner, that very same time of my arrival she would hug and kiss me softly, get my things and slippers, ask how's my day at work and everything happened last fight would now be forgiven and buried underground without the need for words of apologies. But of course, I won't let her think I'm so insensitive, I would say my sincerest "Sorry Darling for causing you trouble once again." Sweet thing. She's the sweet thing, not me.

***

"Sweety, I know you're busy at work and all but please, it's just an hour of asking each other's day. I just want to know how your morning went or if ever you'll extend time to work on something. You make me worried." She said this now facing me. By the way, that's her jerk, I love you lecture.

"I understand Sweety. I'm really sorry."

"Do you love me?" Random checking of feelings strikes again.

 My answer will be forever the same. "I love you, like no other."

"Only me?"

"Of course."

"With all the hot, sexy, pretty singles out there showing their proud cleavages and butts off directly to you, my boy?" I still can't understand why is she insecure. Well, ladies...

"Where? I can't see anyone more awesome other than my wife."

She's grinning. "You're so handsome." Yeah, always the truth. And she doesn't lie. You bet your life.

"Am I?" Beautiful eyes. Goodness, I'm so gay.

"You are. I love you." Music to my ears.

"I love you too. You're the best." I mean it.

Lovely kisses I've ever experienced. Probably the best feeling in the world. Fight-compromise formula dudes, that's the secret.

And I would die to her tickling. OH MAN! Time for some playyy! 

***

What could be the World War III men are declaring about their wives? I'm alienated. I mean, do not find a wife from the army. :)



j.a.f ♥