How do you measure success then?

MY DILEMMA MONTHS AGO - I sort of figured out what I want to become. But before talking about that, let me just bore you with my struggle back then - in case you are one of those people who are still undecided on their career path. DILEMMA Part 1

Up to this point of my life where I assume that everything feels okay and almost perfect, I am still in dilemma about what road to take for my career path. I can do all sorts of wishy-washy things. In fact, I can stick my nose to whatever boring activity so long as there is a goal. On the contrary, I can also be as fast as a bullet when I want to quit. And there are also times that I may not go back to where I left. That’s how worst I am. And mind you, these are not decisions like what ribbon to wear tonight or whether I will have my Barbie shoes on or my glass slippers. It is not as easy as it seems. We are talking about MY FUTURE here!!! I wish I could just answer, “I want to be a doctor” when asked by somebody, or maybe a “Come what may” will do. Or best if I could just declare, “What future?” Hell no, of course.

There is so much to do with my life. I could just simply do my work, earn and do my usual routine everyday and then that’s it. To make it more exciting, I will meet friends in time, plan activities, shop, cook, love, curse – even daydream if I am too lazy to do real actions. Can be fulfilling for some. The problem is not that I cannot identify everything, in fact I can, but what really frustrates me is that I don’t know what to label “first,” “second,” “third,” and so on. Define priorities? How do you sort yours? By period of time you will be able to achieve it? By how you like this and that among others? By benefits of tomorrow? What? Alphabetically? A appears first and Z comes last? Nahhh.

The truth is, writing tops my list. I just don’t see any future with it. Conceptualize, compose, publish. And then wait. Then wait. And wait more. zzzZZZ... What will happen after that? But what does really matter to me? Sometimes, I wonder why I took a broad course, not knowing that there will come a time (like now) that I will be so overwhelmed with all of the opportunities waiting. If I took Engineering, my only dilemma will be what kind of engineer will I be. And the choices are countable.

How do you measure success then? Are we successful if we are getting paid for what we do? Can you also consider success being happy without any recognition to enjoy? Or by success, we mean to say we are both happy and fulfilled? If I list down all of my goals in life, will those be just frustrations to mourn once in a while? I fear the word REGRET.

What if, after I settle down with my career, I suddenly felt the urge to become a doctor? A fortune teller? Or a drag racer? Will that be too late for me?

Where’s Hogwarts? :p